B4ILoseIt

What is beauty?
Beauty is…
lines and curves on faces
eyes nose mouth
shapes
some characteristics culturally specific
others set apart one from the millions
combinations
chemical reactions
products of love, circumstance and above all
biology
a natural art in itself
The way it is
a wonderful way
the fact that the beauty
of another human being
like you in more ways than not
can render you speechless
mesmerized enthralled
by something so commonplace
that you possess it as well

Do things just go black like the tv at bedtime?

I had this belief that on the day of your death

you feel complete

No one around you knows unless you tell them

The scary thing about death is it’s unknown nature

So used to living I can’t imagine not

so used to motion

emotion

thinking and feeling

Do we really fly?

Of all those to die,

I’ve never had the chance to converse with one of them

If curiosity kills this cat

will my questions ever be answered?

When all that needs to be done is done
My thoughts fade back to you
But since you’re not fully here
I’m nowhere
Empty
Fool days of not protecting my heart
Guilt from the past salt my open wounds
Despite how good today is
Tomorrow always scares me
Another possible day for you and him my
I love you’s don’t affect you anymore
Non stop jabs to my chest
Airless lungs I’m
Better off smoking
Our sex lacks life
So fertility isn’t a concern
My touch no longer touches you
And say all of these words as if you’re to blame
I left you
You moved on
Now I’m a pen tip trying my hardest to erase
Instead I’m doing more damage to my poem.

I fear disconnection
My face slowly fades ugly
Heart sinking
Turn ons turned off I
Fear
That the signals that connected are losing strength
Our internets now merely Cobb webs
Abandoned
All cuz I didn’t change
Couldn’t change
Wouldnt change
Or didn’t change enough
New faces catch gazes
And I
Side eyes
But I did let you go
Too soon now I want my ball back

You’ll never hear the words
If you don’t listen
Recognize your worth
Beyond the sheer appeal of your reflection
Express yourself

It’s never too late to live
But if you’re not living your dead
Be the change you wanna see
Life’s alphabet starts with u
Know your favorite song
And play it til you hate it
Sing it like you made it
Appreciate all the beauty created
Even the stuff you gotta tilt your head to understand
You’ll never be perfect
But If you were you wouldn’t learn anything
Then again how would I know?
I’ve never been perfect
Everyday can be awesome if you let it be
Bad days only exist when you label them as such
Don’t think
Hush
Find your metaphorical paint brush and get the stroking
Give life
To whatever you touch
Think lush
Rather than not enough
And begin your awesome day with
A goodmorning

Feelings are hard to ignore
I wear mines
Draped across my face where my smile should lay.
Be you
Im sorry but I don’t know who that is
I never was good with names
My heart is mysterious
Thoughts ravage my mind
Forcing it to do things I’ve never seen it do
My face grew into a mask and
I can’t force myself to want to know who I am
Will I
Waste death the way I’ve wasted life?

It’s impossible to not think of you

when you’re all that’s on my mind

for whatever reason.

I didn’t see this coming

and now that it’s here

I wish I was blind.

The worst part of you moving on

is having to watch it

I want to be happy for you

but each thought of you with another is a giant fiery snowball

rolling down from my brain to my soul

making wanna punch something.

Wanting you so badly, I can’t fathom how I let you go

willingly

And your heart is so big, that

you still attempt to make room for my broken pieces.

You want to move on

and I’m an anchor keeping you from a much needed

slice of happiness and peace.

and after all of this I say love’s name in vain.

I’m not familiar with love, but in the last two weeks

I’ve said it more to than I’ve said it to anyone other than my mom.

I’m sorry

I don’t know you

but fuck you

I dislike that you’re more of her type

and with this clean slate

have the potential to make her happier than I did

see

she gave me everything I had

and now she may possibly give that you

leaving me with nothing

and I don’t want nothing

I want her

Antisocial?
Me?
Well people can be assholes
Walking pissing meaningful-less existences
Just existing
I
Hold doors to no thank you’s
And say hello to deaf folks who
Either can’t hear or can’t talk
Perhaps both
I bump into no excuse me’s
And crowds of laughs and misjudging jeers
No
Care in the world other than
The graffiti in the mirror
Same species yet we don’t speak
I’m guilty of it too
But only because people these days
People have thin hairline triggers
One glance or sound can send them through the roof
Confrontation ensues for no reason
All for simply
Speaking?
Fuck you
And this
And what you think about me
Wait…
I just said hello
I’m the anti social asshole
Must have metamorphed like tadpoles
I used to be friendly
I guess i didn’t know better

We only meet where lips meet

soft sweet your scent

smooth your skin

perfect if I ever saw felt or tasted it

plays back like my favorite thing

song movie video

dream

I meditate to you

so I can see you in my sleep

your hair brushes my forehead

our sweat mixes creating

a love potion potent

with potential to end hate as we know it

our lips lock like front and back doors in the hood

tongues tie like two way races

skin to skin we share faces

fuck air I like your breath better

we make different shapes but they all feel the same

flawless

vertical horizontal

open closed eyes

high off of your air

breathless

my fingers long to grasp yours again

no umbrella yet the rain doesn’t seem to touch me

I’m all yours

at your disposal

shelf me until your lips want more

I’ll just be waiting